WHAT I’VE LEARNT ABOUT BODY IMAGE OVER THE PAST 50 YEARS

The ’70s, for me, was the diet era. Diet pills, extreme diets, even though I was really young, I do remember my mother was always on a diet of some sort: soup, water, grapefruit, air – you name it, she was always on it. Consumed by it, actually. I remember riding the wave of her emotions; when she was losing weight, she was happy, euphoric, when she was in a binge phase, moody, irritable, depressed almost. Dieting was how you dealt with your body image.

In the ’80s, it was all about aerobics – Jane Fonda videos were all the rage, and walking with handheld weights. It was all about burning the calories, not moving your body. I remember waking up and my mum was doing the grapevine, and going to bed to my mum pulsating her leg lifts with a host of weird bands and contraptions. The fad diets were replaced by the exercise gimmicks.

As for the ’90s, well, this was when I was most affected by body image. This is where my unhealthy body image grew wings. It was the waif era – supermodels not getting out of bed for less than $1 million dollars – and famous stories getting around about the models eating tissues to maintain that heroin chic look. They donned the covers of all the magazines, airbrushed beauties, the epitome of what women should be aspiring to look like. The result was disordered eating mayhem. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and exercise abuse. I have many family and friends who experienced all of the above; for me personally, this showed up as an addiction to exercise. If I didn’t train two or even three times a day, I felt guilty, lazy, horrible. I’d beat myself up, say horrible things, and every day was consumed with how, when, and what I was going to do for exercise. I loved sport, and sport was always a social thing for me, but I gave up many of my sports as I didn’t feel like it was making me skinnier; I wasn’t working as hard as I was running, swimming, or gymming on my own… It was an addiction, and it consumed me… Can anyone else relate?

During 2000, the millennium, it was the decade of motherhood for me and dealing with pregnant body image. I developed a newfound appreciation for what our bodies go through and what we are designed for with childbirth, and I mostly enjoyed letting myself be pregnant without body shame. Post-pregnancy, though, my exercise regime went to new heights: triathlon, marathons, cross-fit. Pushing my body to the extreme, but it left me exhausted, depleted, irritable, and snappy with my partner and kids. The worst was the constant battle to keep going even when my body was telling me I needed to slow down and rest. I’d be guilt-ridden if I didn’t fit in at least two training sessions a day, and this was when I had three kids under three. It is crazy when I think back on it; I was so exhausted. I’d put a mid-day movie on for my kids, lock up the house, and I’d fall asleep and get them to wake me when it finished.

That brings me to where I am now on this journey, and for me, it’s been a huge mindset shift. So, this is for anyone who is still on that negative body image journey. Feeling the guilt, shame, not good enough, the inner turmoil that’s making you miserable, judgmental, and fearful – and don’t get me wrong, my mind tries to take me back there. Even this week at the gym, I looked around at all the twenty-something gorgeous women, and I felt my extra roll over the top of my Lorna Janes, my menopausal boobs that are two bra sizes bigger than normal, but instead of beating myself up, I thanked my body for being strong, powerful, and carrying me through each day. It’s birthed and nourished four children; it might not be what Instagram, society, or the fashion industry tells me is perfect, but it’s good enough, and for me, that’s enough. I’m enough.

Ultimately it’s because I’m healthy. It’s no longer about what size I am, how much I starve myself, or how much I exercise; it’s about my health journey. How healthy is my mind, body, and soul? Because without those, I’m not happy, I’m not able to hang out with my kids, I’m not showing up as the leader, friend, mother, daughter, sister I want to be… Without my health, I’m simply existing; I’m not living.

So let me share some of the game-changers on my health journey. Yes, I still exercise, but it’s not to flog myself into exhaustion; it’s to move my body. I try to move my body every day, whether that is a walk, yoga stretches, the gym, or pilates. I have a goal to move my body every day, and I listen to what my body needs; sometimes it’s a sweaty workout, other days it’s a slow walk in the park.

I try to eat healthily, but not starve or deprive myself. If I feel like wine, I’m going to have it; if I feel like chocolate or ice cream, you bet I’m going to enjoy every last bite. Will I do that every day? No, because that is not healthy; it is about the balance here still.

I try to meditate and journal. I know these aren’t for everyone, but for me, my head is so busy, and the inner mean girl is loud. By giving myself space to clear the noise, it helps give me clarity and regulates my emotions. It’s also been a great way to unlock some of the trauma and triggers I’ve avoided dealing with over the years through other unhealthy habits like over-exercising and drinking. It also is the key to reducing stress and anxiety for me personally.

I try to connect with people regularly, whether that is my family, my friends, my own coaches, and mentors. This makes me feel like I’m part of a tribe, and more often than not, by connecting with others regularly, you realise that what you are going through is not unique; you’re not strange or weird, and others are exactly the same or similar.

But the biggest one for me is allowing myself self-care. Spoiling myself with a massage, a soak in the bath, a shopping spree, or a weekend getaway. For years, I felt guilty doing anything for myself; it felt selfish. Ultimately, though, by not giving myself the self-care, I got resentful, bitter, and judgy… I always got my value from helping others, but let me tell you, my heart scare changed everything for me. Because ultimately, without your health, you don’t have anything; I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true; I’ve witnessed what poor health does to you firsthand.

I bet if you had a chance to ask 100 people on their death beds what is your biggest regret… I doubt any of them will tell you they never got to be a size 6. I guarantee it would be not looking after their health. My mother spent decades trying to be skinny, smoked a packet of 50 cigarettes a day for 30 years because that kept the weight off, and she finally did get skinny when she had bowel cancer, and then a stroke. And now she’s confined to a wheelchair and in a nursing home, largely because that body image in her head was unattainable. It’s not about your body, size, shape, weight, structure; it’s about your health, and the sooner we collectively accept, promote, and share this message, the less our future generations will have to struggle with body image. If this blog post resonates with you, or you feel like someone in your world needs to hear this… please share this with them.”